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Topic: Surrealistic Thoughts (Read 506 times) |
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Malachite_Myst
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Posts: 536
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Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there. 
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it? 
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
Why do they wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it? *Cured Ham*
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? 
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
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Hard work, studying and perseverance will get you no where in life......it's all about kissing ass
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Malachite_Myst
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Re: Surrealistic Thoughts
« Reply #1 on: Mar 27th, 2003, 1:37pm » |
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Internal fertilization came about as animals progressed unto land. There was no longer an aquatic enviroment in which sperms could swim to the eggs. To be able to reproduce on land animals had to provide a liquid enviroment for the sperms' tiny backstrokes. Thus Wombs!
So in a way Sperms' inability to swim through the air is a gift to women everywhere! Imagine how terrifying it would be for a woman to be walking down the street calmly admiring the view when you're suddenly assaulted by a huge group of air-traveling-egg-seeking-raunchy sperms. The TERROR! THE HORROR!
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Hard work, studying and perseverance will get you no where in life......it's all about kissing ass
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Malachite_Myst
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Posts: 536
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Re: Surrealistic Thoughts
« Reply #2 on: Mar 27th, 2003, 1:44pm » |
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A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station...
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Hard work, studying and perseverance will get you no where in life......it's all about kissing ass
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Malachite_Myst
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Posts: 536
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Re: Surrealistic Thoughts
« Reply #3 on: Mar 27th, 2003, 1:46pm » |
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What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
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Hard work, studying and perseverance will get you no where in life......it's all about kissing ass
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Malachite_Myst
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Posts: 536
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Re: Surrealistic Thoughts
« Reply #4 on: Mar 27th, 2003, 1:46pm » |
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I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . . they were cramming for their finals.
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Hard work, studying and perseverance will get you no where in life......it's all about kissing ass
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Malachite_Myst
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Posts: 536
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Re: Surrealistic Thoughts
« Reply #5 on: Mar 27th, 2003, 1:47pm » |
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VENI, VEDI, VISA: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?
No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning.
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Hard work, studying and perseverance will get you no where in life......it's all about kissing ass
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Malachite_Myst
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Posts: 536
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Re: Surrealistic Thoughts
« Reply #6 on: Mar 27th, 2003, 1:57pm » |
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If you tied a piece of buttered toast to the back of a cat, butter side up, and dropped the cat from a high porch, what would happen.
Why do we sterlize the needles used for lethal injections?
Why does the comet halebopp return after 76 years. Is the universe also round?
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Hard work, studying and perseverance will get you no where in life......it's all about kissing ass
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