Author |
Topic: Jokes (Read 433 times) |
|
Malachite_Myst
Board Moderator
Posts: 536
|
There once was a 94 year old nun back in the 1890's whose worn-out body began to surrender. Her doctor prescribed for her a shot of whiskey three times a day, to relax her.
However, not to be lured into worldly pleasures, she gradualy declined. But her mother superior knew the elderly sister loved milk. So she instructed the kitchen to spike the milk three times a day. Eventually, the elderly nun approached her final hour. As several sisters gathered around her at bedside, the mother superior asked if she wanted to leave them any words of wisdom.
"Oh, yes," she replied. "Never sell that cow!"
|
|
 Logged |
Hard work, studying and perseverance will get you no where in life......it's all about kissing ass
|
|
|
Malachite_Myst
Board Moderator
Posts: 536
|
A gay man is in a bar, on all fours, trying to pick up some money he dropped.
A big bouncer says, "Hey, you! Move it or I'll give you a foot up the ass!"
The gay man looks around and says, "I think you're bragging, but I'm game if you are."
|
|
Logged |
Hard work, studying and perseverance will get you no where in life......it's all about kissing ass
|
|
|
Malachite_Myst
Board Moderator
Posts: 536
|
There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling.
So what's the problem?
|
|
Logged |
Hard work, studying and perseverance will get you no where in life......it's all about kissing ass
|
|
|
Malachite_Myst
Board Moderator
Posts: 536
|
There's a new toy on the market called the Billy doll. It's being advertised as the first openly gay doll for sale in America. And the doll is anatomically correct. Boy, that's gotta be driving Barbie nuts, don't ya think? Finally a male doll with something "down there," and he turns out to be gay. Isn't that every woman's nightmare?
|
|
Logged |
Hard work, studying and perseverance will get you no where in life......it's all about kissing ass
|
|
|
Malachite_Myst
Board Moderator
Posts: 536
|
A cat was running wildly down alleys, up fire escapes, down cellars and what-not. A neighbour knew whose cat it was and reported it. "Your cat is running around like mad."
"I know," answered the owner. "He's just been sterilized  and he is canceling engagements."
|
|
Logged |
Hard work, studying and perseverance will get you no where in life......it's all about kissing ass
|
|
|
Malachite_Myst
Board Moderator
Posts: 536
|
A man was out walking a dog, and a woman stopped to admire the animal. "What's your dog's name?" she asked.
"Herpes," replied the dog's owner.
"How....odd," said the woman. "Why Herpes?"
"Because he won't heel."
|
|
Logged |
Hard work, studying and perseverance will get you no where in life......it's all about kissing ass
|
|
|
Malachite_Myst
Board Moderator
Posts: 536
|
A woman goes into a restaurant in a small southern town out in the country. She orders the fried chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast, she chokes on a chicken bone.
Well, these two country boys in the next booth notice she is choking, and they get up and go over to help her. The first country boy drops his overalls and bends over, and the second country boy starts licking his butt.
She pukes all over the place, dislodging the chicken bone from her throat. The country boy pulls his overalls back up and says to the other excitedly, "You're right Billy Bob, that Hind-Lick Maneuver works like a charm."
|
|
Logged |
Hard work, studying and perseverance will get you no where in life......it's all about kissing ass
|
|
|
|
Home
Help
Search
Members
Login
Register
Reply
Notify of replies
Send Topic
Print
Report
Quote
Modify