This is a list of comments from test papers, essays,
etc., submitted to science and health teachers by elementary,
junior high, high school, and college students: "It
is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars
can create under the pressures of time and grades."
The spellings are the original ones. (Transmitted by
Professor Pill-Soon Song, a KASTN editor, from a chemistry
net group called SAFETY@uvmvm.uvm.edu, dated 1/13/96)
1. H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
2. To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over
a flame in a test tube.
3. When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon
monoxide.
4. Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin.
Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is water and gin.
5. A super saturated solution is one that holds more
than it can hold.
6. Liter: A nest of young puppies.
7. Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead
cat.
8. Momentum: What you give a person when they are going
away.
9. Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.
10. Artificial insemination is when the farmer does
it to the cow instead of the bull.
11. The pistol of the flower is its only protection
against insects.
12. A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is,
the more extinct it is.
13. To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over
the nose.
14. For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower that the
heart until the heart stops.
15. For head colds: use an agonizer to spray the nose
until it drops in your throat.
16. Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
17. The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon.
All water tends towards the moon, because there is no
water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget
where the sun joins in this fight.
